Blast Boris Limericks

Chester for Europe campaigners suffered an evening of fun, beer and limerick frivolity – some of our best (or worst) poetic efforts are shown below.

Because stopping Brexit doesn’t have to be dull and joyless.  Come and join us, especially if you are a poet.

Ps – the only limitation – limericks had to include “blast” and “Boris”.  Which explains a lot.

chester for europe in a pub
Chester for Europe in a City Centre pub

We’re deep in this awful Brexit mess
Because of our prime minister Boris
He thinks it’s a blast
In fact it’s a farce
And his a*se is his speaking orifice
Emma

There was a philandering Boris
Who couldn’t find the clitoris
But still they’d blast the kids out
All around and about
But that’s just typical Tories
Howard

A bumbling bombshell from Eton
Boris believed he couldn’t be beaten
But together we’re stronger
Brexit couldn’t be wronger
We “blast”ed Remainers will unseat him
Sue

There once was a man with an ego
Who certainly is not our Amigo
Boris thinks he’s a blast
But he will be downcast
When his Brexit will Suffer our Veto
Pilar

Boris was feeling out classed
His penis was drooping halfmast
All his work as PM
Was causing mayhem
And sex was a blast from the past
Sue and Howard

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel’s a blast
Pushing Brexit to enrich his own caste
Slimy Gove and  Rees-Mogg
and Cummings their dog
With Mark Francois they’re all of them spaffed
Graham

Carrie and Borris were courting
When Red wine was all of a spilling
Of course said Big B
I was on top of C
Blast I should be a remaining
Sue

How has this nightmare emerged?
Was it all the fault of Boris & the ERG
Their love of the past
Might give them a blast
But Brexit must surely be purged
Sue

Blasted Boris aspires as a showman
Trump’s vision he’ll use as an omen
His mum must be proud
As he lies to the crowd
But he’s just a disciple of Onan
Carol

Boris had a bus that went fast
He thought driving it over a cliff would be a blast
Chester for Europe said no
we won’t go
And soon Brexit will be in the past
Caz

Boris as  Pm is a blast
Let’s just forget his past
There’s a woman in jail
Water cannon – a fail
But don’t worry – his tenure won’t last
Pete

The Bullingdon club’s in Boris’ past
He now thinks Brexit’s a blast
He couldn’t careless
If he makes us all penniless
Because his own fortunes are vast
Howard and Emma

Jacob and Boris are blasts from the past
Who think their destinies are cast
But when we have a People’s Vote
And win a revoke
Their friendship with Trump and Banks will not last
Caz

A blonde man born in the states
Made promises that were complete w*nk
Wrote Lies on a bus
Talks out of their a*se
Let’s blast Boris into outer space
Nala

 

There was a young lady called Carrie
Who Boris was so keen to marry
He thought “What a blast!”
But she wished she’d asked
Had he shagged that pussy cat Larry?
Charlie and Chris from Liverpool for Europe

There was a PM called Borris
Who really had it OUT for us
He lied and he blustered
But Parliament sussed it
Blast Boris was their uniform chorus
Noel